Of Marriage, Lust, and True Love

“This place is for people who want to feel cosmopolitan.” Leo said after scoping everyone in the room. “Since when did you want cosmopolitan, Mr. Beer-on-the-couch-with-the-remote?” Alex said while everyone erupted in cheers. “Hot stuff, baby.” Leo waggles his eyebrows and Alex answers, “you should have kept me while you had the chance.”

Their marriage based on fun and lust had lasted for eleven wild, sexually charged months before an explosive fight erupted. And since neither of them had ever had a real relationship, neither had known what to do with real love. Now, with all that emotion still pent up inside, with no way of dealing, they snarled and growled and bickered…

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One of my best friends is getting married tomorrow. And while I am far past ecstatic for her, a small part of me feels sad for myself. Ok, scratch that, a BIG part of me feels bad.
Not that I have anything against this marriage. Truthfully, it’s one of the best things that’s happened in my circle as of late. Yas and Jose are so right for each other that any moment of them not being married seems like an absolute travesty.
I however must once more contend with the fact that I remain single, in spite the fact that I dream of finding the same kind of joy that Yas and Jose have in each other. It doesn’t help matters that Valentine’s is just around the corner. It also bugs me that I am going to a wedding dateless. Again.

Sure the event will be attended by some of the metros most beautiful and fabulous women. Showing up without a date could play to one’s advantage. Not for me though. Because most of these women are very close friends and while I must admit that imagining them naked is quite tasteful, the idea of shagging them is not. So no. Being dateless is still not a plus.
Here’s the thing. I’m lonely. I’m lonely and alone. And honestly, I don’t know how to change that. All I know is that my heart is ready. My life is ready to be filled by someone. Sadly, that someone still hasn’t arrived. I’m begininning to wonder if she’ll ever come.
Tomorrow I shall wish Yas and Jose the very best of times. Times that I’m certain is already guaranteed. But forgive me if I also wish the same for myself. I am after all, only human.
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Above is what I would have written if I didn’t have Lana in my life. Truth is I am HAPPY and I feel so LOVED!
So tomorrow as I walk down the aisle as a groomsman, I, for sure, will beam with happiness because I have found her and I really am trully deeply madly in love with her.